Story Index:

Adjusting Expectations, IRONMAN 70.3 Oregon
07/15/2022

My 100th Finish Line, at White Lake Half Pro-Am
05/12/2022

The Chance of a Lifetime, IRONMAN 70.3 World Championships
10/10/2021

Now or Never, IRONMAN 70.3 Ecuador
07/22/2021

Is This Fun For You? A 2020 Race Report
10/10/2020

Campeche 70.3 Report: The Last Race Standing
03/30/2020

Knock Me Down and I'll Just Grow Back Stronger
03/11/2020

Underwater
12/31/2019

IRONMAN Wisconsin, My Cinderella Story
09/20/2018

IRONMAN Boulder, Coming in Hot
09/20/2018

IRONMAN Texas: Everything's Bigger in Texas (except the Ironman bike course)
05/01/2018

Uphill Both Ways (Oceanside Race Report)
04/16/2018

The Things We Deserve
03/06/2018

When Life Gives You Lemons... IM 70.3 Santa Cruz and IM 70.3 Boulder (sort of)
09/23/2017

The DNF Strikes Back
07/11/2017

Oops, I Did An IM
06/16/2017

IRONMAN 70.3 Santa Rosa
05/22/2017

IRONMAN Oceanside 70.3
05/19/2017

December in the Desert: HITS Palm Springs 70.3
12/07/2016

The Coolest Prize I've Ever Won
10/26/2016

Running With the Big Dogs
07/23/2016

The Inaugural Wisconsin Milkman 70.3 Triathlon
07/04/2016

Early Season Ups & Downs
06/28/2016

XTERRA Real Granite Bay
04/11/2016

Urbanathlon, Where You Been All My Life?!
11/25/2015

The Top 17 Reasons You Should Have Been at Scott Tinley's
10/21/2015

Rock & Roll Half Marathon
10/04/2015

Ironman 70.3 Santa Cruz
09/23/2015

This Seems Like a lot of Work for a Free Banana
09/01/2015

Sometimes the Best Race is the One I Didn't Win
08/03/2015

Tales of a Swim Meet Rookie
08/01/2015

Victory at the California International Triathlon
06/30/2015

Wildflower Will Show You What You're Made Of
05/07/2015

Mama Didn't Raise No Quitter
04/22/2015

HITS Napa Half, 5 (Plus) Hours of Fun
04/17/2015

Off-Roading: My Trail Run Debut
04/04/2015

Lake Tahoe Marathon Weekend
09/16/2014

Farewell to Madison
09/09/2014

Being Comfortable With Discomfort
08/18/2014

Wildflower 2012, Team Goodell
06/09/2012

USA Triathlon National Championships
10/02/2011

How About a Road Race?
08/06/2011

Tri-Ing for Children
07/25/2011

The Women's Sprint Triathlon - Where it All Began
07/12/2011

Defending the Title in Pleasant Prairie
06/27/2011

Capitol View Triathlon
06/13/2011

Tri Club Party in Madison
04/10/2011

Be A Better Runner
03/28/2011

Hello, Felt
03/20/2011

I'm Going With You
01/03/2011

2009 Triathlon World Championships
09/12/2009

Kim completes her first Half-Ironman
06/10/2008

Kim Visits Home for Wildflower Triathlon
05/16/2008

Kim Blazes Chicago Triathlon
08/27/2007

More Triathlons for Kim
06/15/2006

Kim in Chicago Triathlon
08/31/2005

Kim graduates from Willamette
06/17/2002

Kim returns from Europe
02/02/2001

Kim Travels Europe
11/24/2000
Tri-Ing for Children

Part I – The Kids' Tri


We volunteered for the Children's Triathlon. If you have never done this before, DO IT. It's hilarious. (check out www.tri4schools.com for the next Madison area entertainment)

Athletes will do some pretty weird stuff in the heat of the moment, with all the adrenaline pumping. Children take this to a whole new level. One of my co-volunteers commented that it's like watching a bunch of tiny drunk people try to do a triathlon.

It's funny too, to think how a lot of triathlete technique contradicts the values we teach children. Tying shoelaces, who needs it? Peeing your pants without breaking stride, what an achievement! And chuck those paper cups right onto the ground like a sloppy litterbug!

Not only did many of the children stop to politely finish the entire cup of water, but they also lined up single file to deposit the empties in the trash can. For a twelve minute race, you can lose a lot of time on these courtesies. As one 5 year old shuffled past, trying not to spill her cup of water, I encouraged her to "just drop it on the ground and keep running!" She stopped, carefully poured the water out on the cement, and then sprinted away with the cup clasped tightly in her fist.

My favorite was little Alex, who was perfecting the art of Dead Last. His commitment to prolonging the torture of his race (25 yd swim/1 mile bike/quarter mile run) was impressive. If you've ever tried to walk a cat, you might have some idea what his patient and humiliated mother was being subjected to as she gently tugged him forward, assuring him he was "almost there!" (she promised us that it was his idea to participate...) Alex's run technique alternated between a slow motion, stiff-legged goose-step, and Sleeping Marionette (pitched forward at the waist, with one arm limply dangling towards the ground).
While many of his peers completed the task in about 12-15 minutes, Alex managed to milk every last moment of misery, extending the race a full 40 minutes, with a dramatic finish line crawl to rival Julie Moss's tragically heroic 1982 Ironman finish.


Part II – Winning

For the adult race, I was one third of the Capital City Multisport Club relay. This is the first time I've done a relay, what fun! It's so much fun, in fact, that I don't understand why more people don't do it. I suspect it has something to do with pride, as we had to keep correcting people - No, we're not "just doing the relay," we're "Winning the Relay"

And win we did.
We beat the other relay team by over 32 minutes.

Nick had the task of swimming in the bathwater warm lake, Andrew tore up the bike course, and I was the anchor with the 10K run.
Of course, Will Smith did all three on his own, and still beat our team by 24 minutes. When I asked him how his race went, he smiled and said in his cheerful New Zealand accent, "Like taking candy from a baby!"

Well, Will may be able to outswim, outbike and outrun Team CCMC, but I'd like to point out that our swim to bike transition was 32 seconds, and his was 33. Our bike to run transition was 27 seconds, his was 28.

So, who's laughing now, Will?


Posted by kim 07/25/2011, revised 07/25/2011 by kim
FreeStyle Journal 19.03.21
©2003-2011 by Dan Goodell

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